On offer

Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

St. Paul 1 Corinthians 13 – Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition
When I was
20-ish
Suddenly
Score of red trucks
Flashing their lights
Waking my senses
From another 
Day of dreaming

Smoke!
In my flat!
Up there
I’m here
They’re there
The ones
I love
I’m here safe
No arguments
No need
Just adrenaline
Go
First flight of stairs
Second
Run
Smoke
Blindness
Hold breath
Run
Fourth, Fifth, Sixth
Door
They’re safe
Smoke everywhere
But we’re together
Safe.

I’m not a hero…

When my mother
Was dying 
Long
And unjustifiable 
Painful 
Agony
I would drive
A milk van
For weeks, months
Every night, many nights
Many hours
To get some money
To be able
To go there 
And possibly make her suffering
A little bit
Easier
Just for a while
Should’ve done better

I was not the best of sons

I have spent some time
Trying to help 
Some desperate people
Find the solution
To their problems
As it has been
Done to me
Some time ago
“Some time”
18 years
Thousands
Of hours
Thousands
Of miles
I don’t regret the money
Grateful I could help

I’m not a saint though

I won’t be building 
Cathedrals 
Anymore
I have 
Probably 
Been
Cured 
From that 
Phoney aspirations
For good

I saw
Through somebody's eyes
Who really
I am

And I know 
It is hard
Too see
The real value of things
Through young lenses
It is hard sometimes
Through older

Probably gets clearer
Towards the end
We shall learn
Rather sooner now
Then later

So I don't blame you
That you turn
your gaze away
Afraid of the counsequenses
of a hopeless
love.
I won't cast
the killing spell
either
Cause the last
thing I should be 
doing now
Is kiliing 
the innocent
...
love,

For now
I can’t do 
Otherwise

I can’t see
Another way

I’m going to spend
The each of the days
We still have
Showing You
Who I am
And who I could
yet to become
But more important
I will 
Be here for you
In whatever role
Or capacity
It fits your purpose
That’s how
I have learnt 
To love
Maybe it's stupid
Underpriced
On offer

If you find
Any value in that
In me
Help yourself
It’s free