Crucifixion

“Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I wanna spit in their faces, then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach
I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now

I’ve been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I’ve been raising up my hands, drive another nail in
Just what God needs, one more victim”

Tori Amos – Crucify https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqOVyq0Dfyc
I  don’t want 
To see her
Anytime, 
Anywhere,
Nor Anyhow
Again

I prayed
For her sanity
The very last time
This morning
Hers and mine
Together
But it wouldn’t work

Now it’s over
She’s on her own
I can’t help
Anymore
Even willing
To die for her
She doesn’t need
A martyr

I prayed and prayed
Over, over again
Over all those
Days of pain
But hope
Kept me going

I loved and loved
Longed and longed
Through all those
Empty hours
Days
I had faith
Enough
I can’t do
Anymore
You cannot
Love a phantom

Please
Spare me 
Pointing out
That 
I failed

I should’ve
Loved 
Stronger
Longer
Louder
Braver
Smarter
...

I did
What I could
O.K.
I didn’t deserve it
I don’t 
And ever will…

Here comes
Crucifixion
"Eloi
Eloi lama sabachthani"
Once more again