Forgiveness?

“At the center of the Earth, in the parking lot
Of the 7-11 where I was taught
The motto was just a lie
It says, “Home is where your heart is, ” but what a shame
‘Cause everyone’s heart doesn’t beat the same
It’s beating out of time

I read the graffiti in the bathroom stall
Like the holy scriptures of a shopping mall
And so it seemed to confess
It didn’t say much, but it only confirmed that
The center of the earth is the end of the world
And I could really care less”

Green Day – Jesus of Suberbia https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXvgDq4ASGM
I need to forgive
Myself
For not being …
For being
As well
So many faults
Sins against 
The ideal
I hold in my heart

She has just confirmed
All my fears
And insecurities
Re-affirmed.
No matter
How hard
I would try
To fight them
They will always 
Re-surface
Re-established
By yet another
Lack of
Reciprocation 
Of my love

And I don’t need
A cheap solace
And cliché 
Encouragements
Fuck off
I’ll be fine
Cause
I don’t care
I have learnt
That primal
Survival 
Skill
Since I was 3
I have mastered
The not-caring face
That’s the biggest
Sin

I just need
To forgive myself
Failing
One more time
I am seeking 
the Forgiveness
For being

...
A good man