Just for today

Emptiness, 
Void of any sense
And non-sense either
Just a bit of pain.
But it's really
Nothing.

“Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me bring love.
Where there is offence, let me bring pardon.
Where there is discord, let me bring union”.

My hormones 
Are almost back to normal,
Pain recedes,
Void of meaning
And sense
Remains.

“Where there is error, let me bring truth.
Where there is doubt, let me bring faith.
Where there is despair, let me bring hope.
Where there is darkness, let me bring your light.
Where there is sadness, let me bring joy.”

Void of love
Void of her smile
Void of any …
Motivation
Though dopamine 
Still fairly high
Serotonine quite normal
And testosterone plummeted
But that's rather good news,
At least for the thyroid.

“O Lord, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love,”

I know the way,
I haven’t betrayed it.
I haven’t done anything wrong,
She hasn’t either.
Why then
I feel betrayed.

“for it is in giving that one receives,
it is in self-forgetting that one finds,
it is in forgiving that one is forgiven,
it is in dying that one is awakens to eternal life.”

I know,
“That too shall pass”
The only problem
I don’t 
want that
to ever
happen.
I don’t want
to forget.
I don’t want
that cursed
sainthood
Anymore

Amen.

St. Francis of Assisi